It was November 17 1995. While this happened almost 20 years ago, I recall it as if it happened yesterday.
I was in my office in San Jose, the phone rang, and a woman said “Hi, my name is Marsha and I am calling about your personal coaching ad in the SJ Mercury news paper.”
How can I help you?
“I don’t need help”.
Then “why are you calling me?”
“It’s my boyfriend John he has been on drugs for 8 years”
“I don’t do drugs… I mean drugs therapy.” She said why not you grew up in the 70’s; I would like to hire you to help him clean up. Several of my friends have taken your coaching program and they love it.
You see, I have been trained by Dr. Richard Bandler, the father of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and an expert in modeling human Excellence, and I use his methods in my coaching.
This woman was very wealthy, in her mid 40’s she had her own business, and several houses.
I am willing to help out with Three months, and under two conditions, that he will do exactly as I tell him, and if you are happy with his fees. I Went to her house and met her boyfriend, I said I am here to help with your addiction; he looked me in the eye and said no one can help me, I tried everything, it doesn’t works, but your girlfriend asked me to help you.
This man looked like a homeless person, gray frizzy hair, long beard, smelled very badly, smoking, had a jacket with torn pockets, very sad looking. When I first looked at him I thought wow this man is beyond help.
I worked with this man for three months, one of the methods I used called Time line Therapy, the study of how people store their memories and values, were you mentally go into the future to an event that you want to have happen and step into your body and feel the feeling of what you want, this man was still not getting it, he was still struggling, then I had to use another pattern called the Swish Pattern where you replace unwanted behavior with a good one, he had to do this pattern over and over, he tried very hard to change and finally at the end of three months I called her back she said I don’t know what you did to my boyfriend, but he has changed he is not the same man I knew, he has a job now, he moved in my other house and is fixing it up in his spare time, and what is the problem she said well he has no time for me anymore.
And what would you like from me now.
She said he is still smoking cigarettes, I want him cleaned up completely, I said doesn’t he have anything to say about that? And she said no. I went over to see John and I was shocked he was standing tall wearing black Slacks, shiny shoes a white ironed shirt, shaved his beard trimmed his hair, he looked 20 years younger.
This was the most exhilarating moment of my life. Whenever we find the moment we see the vision of what is possible, it’s almost a spiritual experience
Experts say you don’t have to be a psychologist; you can make an impact to someone’s life by giving them your hand and lift them up.
Perhaps you can boost someone’s confidence by looking them in the eye, smile, and say you look great today.
You can use these methods of NLP to motivate your employees, your friends, and your dogs.
Now that’s when I realized that this is what I want to do, not because I am a nice guy, I don’t want to see people suffer, and it’s been really rewarding for me to help a student pass calculus exam, or the guy who met his soul mate, and the woman who wanted to become a paid speaker and got her first check.
Now that’s my goal to see how many lives I can change.
So how do you get out of a stuck situation?
When that happens it’s because you are inside your head and your body. Next time this happens
You want to mentally go into the future time and step into it.
John said I tried everything, nothing worked until he used timeline therapy. I challenge you to try everything.